The Great British Breakfast

Having had a few heated discussions with people from various regions over the ‘correct’ composition of a ‘proper’ breakfast, I was curious enough to do some research on the subject. Authorities differ in some particulars, but the general consensus appears to be as follows…..

The ingredients of a Full English breakfast, or traditional fry-up, vary according to region and taste. At its heart, the meal consists of bacon and eggs, but to earn the title of a “Full English” a number of other ingredients are expected. The bacon and eggs are traditionally fried, but grilled bacon and poached or scrambled eggs may be offered as alternatives. Some of the additional ingredients that might be offered as part of a Full English breakfast include:
 buttered toast, fried bread, or bread and butter
 sausages
 fried or grilled tomatoes
 fried mushrooms
 black pudding (blood sausage)
 baked beans
 fried potatoes or bubble and squeak (originally a way to use up leftovers)
 condiments such as tomato ketchup and brown sauce.

The traditional Irish breakfast includes at least the following fried items: pork sausages, bacon rashers, egg(s), black pudding, halved mushrooms and white pudding. Toast or traditional brown soda bread are usually added, and other items may include boxty (although nowadays this is rare), hash browns, and fried mushrooms or fried tomato.

In Northern Ireland, the traditional Ulster fry differs from the traditional Irish breakfast in that it should include grilled or sometimes fried soda farls (flat bread leavened with baking soda) and fried potato farls (potato bread), but does not normally include white pudding.

A traditional Scottish breakfast includes bacon and fried eggs with sausage, fried mushrooms and tomatoes, fried bread or potato scones. The bacon is often grilled rather than fried and, less commonly, the sausages may be too. Local favourites such as black pudding, white pudding (bloodless sausage), kippers (hot smoked herring), or Arbroath smokies (smoked haddock) may be added. Oatcakes (plain, slightly salty oatmeal biscuits) or a buttery (a butter-enriched bread related to the French croissant and popular in the north of Scotland) might feature. Porridge, properly made with oatmeal and water and cooked with salt, is another likely option; it’s traditional to add a little milk to your serving, but not sugar!

In Wales, a traditional Welsh breakfast comprises grilled bacon, grilled pork sausages, black pudding, eggs (poached, scrambled or fried), grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms, baked beans, and laverbread. (Laverbread is a Welsh delicacy produced from laver, an edible seaweed rich protein, iron, iodine, and vitamins B2, A, D and C. The laver is boiled for several hours, producing a gelatinous paste whih is then rolled in oatmeal and fried.)
 
The traditional breakfast drink throughout the British Isles is tea, most commonly a strong Indian blend served with full-cream milk and sugar.

(It all makes cereal, toast, and fruit juice seem a little paltry, doesn’t it? Anyone for a fry-up? )

Some of my favourite limericks

[I offer in advance my apologies to those of you for whom the footnotes appended to the last three limericks are not necessary, and congratulate you on your erudition; I had to double-check two of them to be certain that I understood them correctly.]

A bottle of perfume that Willy sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
That they quarrelled, I’m told,
Through that silly scent Willy sent Millicent.

There was a young lady of Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented,
And made cider inside her inside.

A fly and a flea in a flue
Were wondering what they could do.
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

There was a young fellow named Fisher
Who went fishing for fish in a fissure.
A cod, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in…
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher.

There was a young girl in the choir
Whose singing rose hoir and hoir.
It reached such a height
It was clear out of seight,
And they found it next day on the spoir.

She frowned and called him Mr.
Because he fondly kr.
And so for spite
That very nite
That Mr. kr. sr.

A girl who weighed many an oz.
Used language I dare not pronoz.
When a fellow unkind
Pulled her chair out behind
Just to see, so he said, if she’d boz.
['oz.' is the abbreviation of 'ounce']

A mosquito cried out in pain:
“A chemist has poisoned my brain!”
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichloro
diphenyltrichloroethane
[better known as DDT]

There was a young lawyer named Rex
Who had very small organs of sex.
When charged with exposure
He said with composure
“De minimis non curat lex”
["The law does not concern itself with trifles"]